There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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