bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize