i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
