# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
