is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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