he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
