He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
someone owes me an orgasm
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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