He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
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Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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