Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
