Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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