I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
