Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
