when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
