i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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