My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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