that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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