Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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