omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
why is half of my head shaved?
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