u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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