Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
