There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You just made me feel so damn special
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
tell me about the fingering
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