RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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