You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
