Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
