im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Less talking, more tequila
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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