Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
