we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
