I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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