I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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