Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So squirting runs in the family.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize