Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
