Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's never too late to be topless.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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