so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
