I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
