I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
