A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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