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tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
