Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
