There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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