I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
