Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.