I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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