i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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