Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just cropdusted the office
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
His hands were made for my vagina.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
