he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
