I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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