Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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