You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
a search helicopter?!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Randomize
