Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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