Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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