I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
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I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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