That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
