Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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