To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
