2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize